Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
