doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
