All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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