weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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