good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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