I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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