I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
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