But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
