operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
