Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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