So drunk its hurt
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Randomize
