can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
