Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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