Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
You are a genius and a whore.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
