he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
do herpes really smell.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
