I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
