I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
