so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
