Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Randomize
