I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
