Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
