I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
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