Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
