dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize