Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
