Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
