I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
