maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Randomize
