its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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