Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
