Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Randomize
