operation harelip BJ is a go
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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