wrigley field is MILF paradise
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
