also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
