TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
