Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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