we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
