Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Randomize
