found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
