And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
