You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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