I'm drive I can fine osifer
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
