soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
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