But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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