I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
