Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
