i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
