theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
