ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
