I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
