Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
